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What are your expectations from baby father if not married or living together?

October 3, 2010 By Pilar Estefana

If you had a baby with someone what would you expect him to do for you and your child? Lets say you are in a relationship and you live in separate homes (not married) and the baby lives with the mother. Please tell me what you think a man should do for you and the baby. Father makes 6 digit salary and mother makes 1/2 of what he makes. Just curious to know if i was asking too much from my boyfriend.

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Filed Under: Baby Tagged With: baby father, relationship, salary

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Comments

  1. Martin says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    When I fell pregnant, me and my partner were not living together, I did tell him that when the baby was born he would be moving in. I didn’t see why I should to left to care for a newborn by myself. Especially as we are both 1st time parents. For me personally having him move in was a little bit of a mistake, he was not working and was not contributing towards caring for the house or house hold bills. I think you should think very hard before making such a commitment. Living with your partner is a serious commitment, and having a baby is stress enough. In you case i think if he is earning such good money, he should be taking care of you completely, he can afford it!!

  2. broker472000 says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    Child support…yep..you play..you gotta pay…

  3. Jay says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    The expectations don’t change regardless of if you’re married or not. Once you get pregnant, it is all about the baby. You need to commit to it and make sure your child has a proper upbringing. It is a real shame that so many people these days do a crappy job of this. The kid has no choice in the matter, and you can’t take it out on him. Even if it was an accident, you need to change your priorities and make it all about the kid. The father and mother don’t have to stay together if they don’t love each other, as that will just damage the kid in future relationships. As long as the child can have a normal relationship with their parents then that is what is important. I have absolutely no respect for people who have a baby and don’t commit to it.

  4. steph says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    At the very least he needs to be putting in his part financially. Nothing is worse than a deadbeat parent. It would be nice if he had some kind of meaningful relationship with the child, but at the very least he should be giving the mom some money to help w/ expenses, not to mention the baby is probably not helping her situation with work. If he doesn’t pay, take him to court and file a petition for support b/c that money is for HIS child, NOT for you to take to the mall, which is probably what he’s thinking with his pebble brain.

  5. brwneyedgrl says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    well its not about whether your asking to much its about what a court appoints to you as far as how much c/s he would have to pay, u dont typically get to set your own amount unless agreed upon by both parties.. but more so you should expect him to be there for his child which is more important then the financial support.. he should be a constant in your childs life, have just as much say in your childs life, be there on the weekends etc whatever his visitation is.. be an active member in his life as far as schooling, religious activities, extra cirricular activities and to be the best parent he can be to your child .. so although financial support is important, its more important for him to be a good father, a child should have both parents in their life even if they are under two seperate roofs..

  6. miranda C says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    Honestly I am a mom raising my daughter alone at my own home. Her father is homeless and well lets just leave it as a loser.

    However I did expect that living costs be covered such as food, diapers, wipes ect half or more of formula or containers if you breastfeed.. clothing should be split along with linens.

    if your electricity goes up he should pay the difference.. Any baby items that are bought should be bought together and agreed upon. He should have to help you with child care cost or pay the whole thing since he makes much more than you do. and then anything like life insurance and insurance in general he should pay in full for you. Any type of medical he should be responsible for.

    I also vote you set up a savings account for the child so that when you get extra money you save for their college education or a car or whatever you see fit for the child to use the money on.
    My daughter is 8 months old now and i have already saved 3,000 dollars for her. :)

  7. Free-Lance says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    support in every way.

  8. Jade M says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    I would expect child support. If we were still in a relationship, I would expect regular contact and physical help with the baby.

  9. Chris says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    Pick a better man?

  10. maine guy says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    get child support ordered thru the courts.
    never make your own arrangements with the father.
    this would not be enforceable,thru the courts is.

  11. baby boy Due november 18!!!!!!!! says

    October 3, 2010 at 9:58

    im in the same situation almost im 31 weeks preg been with the dude 3 1/2 years and now he decided its not working but is willing to be there for the child i mean hes does support the pregnancy i guess
    well hopefully he will be there for the child as far as expectation u should sit down with him and make a plan how things are going to work dont want the child to be here and u guys have no directions

  12. Travel Insurance Coverage says

    October 15, 2010 at 9:58

    Your blog is very useful. Thank you so much for giving plenty of practical information. I have bookmark your blog siteand will be without doubt coming back. Once again, I appreciate all your work and also providing a lot great concepts to the audience.

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