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Is it wrong to buy baby things before a baby shower?

August 11, 2010 By Pilar Estefana

Let me start off by saying that I do NOT expect anyone to throw me a baby shower, and I won’t mind if I don’t have one.

I’m 31w4d pregnant and keep getting scolded by people (especially my mother-in-law) for buying baby things and setting up the nursery. She says my husband and I should hold off on buying anything for the baby until after my baby shower. The thing is, no one has mentioned being interested in throwing me one, and I’m due in about a month and a half. Should I hold off like I’m being told, or do you think it’s okay for me to buy the things I need? I’ve held off on buying many clothes, blankets, books, crib bedding and toys thinking those are the things most people would like to buy if they DO want to get something, but I don’t want to hold off on buying anything and then not have a baby shower and feel rushed to buy everything I need just before the baby is born. We already have all the furniture, and lots of used clothes that were given to us by friends, as well as a car seat and two strollers.
What you you think I should do?

Thanks for reading and answering!

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    Filed Under: Baby blankets Tagged With: baby shower, baby things, blankets, car seat, clothes, crib bedding, furniture, month and a half, mother in law, Toys

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    Comments

    1. celestial says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      Go ahead and get whatever you feel like getting. If something happened and you went into labor prematurely, you’ll need to have that stuff. This is your baby and no one should be telling you when or what to buy. If your mother in law is griping at you to hold off, tell her that unless you get an invitation to your own baby shower in the mail within the next seven days, you’re going to buy these things. If you don’t feel a baby shower is necessary and would like to err on the side of caution instead, and you would rather feel secure knowing you had everything than sit around wondering if you were ever going to have a baby shower and get the stuff you need, then buy it! If other people want to send gifts, they’ll find something to buy that you don’t already have. You can predict when baby is born, but most babies do not come on their due date and if you delivered early, it would be added stress to not have the items in your nursery that you need. Perhaps inform your family that you will wait until you are 34 weeks to buy things, and if that day passes and you’ve not had a baby shower, you’re going to buy it all.

    2. Tati says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      if you arent expecting people to buy you big ticket items i see nothing wrong with picking stuff up on your own… and if you are registering anywhere it doesnt matter what you pick up since you obviously wont ask for things you already bought… personally i bought some stuff as soon as we knew the sex, nothing big a teddy bear and a few outfits… the way i saw it buys little baby things was fun and i saw no reason to deprive myslef of the experience… i got a lil grief from it too but i just ignored it

    3. Precious says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      Just ask your family and friends, like your mother-in-law, if someone is going to throw you a shower. Tell them you’re going to keep shopping until you know you’re having a shower. I helped find the location for my baby shower and helped my sister with invitations but my mom and sister did all the setting up, etc. You can help, just have it "hosted" by someone else. Somebody needs to throw you a shower soon before the baby gets here.

    4. Meagan C says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      I am due the 22nd of May and have been buying things. I’m having a baby shower on the 20th of this month. There are just some things that can wait and some that can’t. Like we bought all the big stuff for her. Carseat, stroller, crib and bedding, dress for hospital pictures and coming home outfit. Things that you are particular on you should go ahead and buy. Being so close to the due date and nobody mentioning a shower as of yet would make me fear being unprepared. Just get what you think you should and if you get doubles at the shower take it back and exchange it. Good luck and congrats on your baby girl.

    5. Miss J says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      next time someone says "hold off till the shower"… tell them that u dont think anyone is going to throw u one! if i were u id be doing the same thing! u dont want to rush esp if ur uncertain if ur going to have a shower! either u can ask one of ur good friends or ur family members to throw u one! if ur not comfortable (i wouldnt be) just dont have one and continue buying the things that u will need as soon as ur baby arrives! im sure if u dont have a shower, everyone that comes to see the baby will bring a gift with them! most times u usually get clothes, books, diapers/wipes, blankets…. so maybe hold off on buys tons of those things till after the birth!

    6. Niagara says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      I would buy the things that I absolutely needed. Not too much clothes since baby will grow out of them soon enough. My co-workers were going to throw me a baby shower. Good thing I did not wait for them… they ended up collecting some money to do it and then it never came off. I had the baby 3 weeks early. They ended up just giving me the money they collected and whatever few things that were purchased about one month later.

    7. ????Riley's 3 months old!? says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      I had my shower at 36 weeks,i REALLY REALLY wanted to buy stuff and my hubby told me to wait, GOOD that i did because i got SOooo many stuff that i wanted from the biggest things to clothes bottles ect..i know its hard to wait until the end, if your Mom in law is telling u to wait maybe they r giving u a surprise shower ( i had a surprise one too) so just wait,after that you will have time to buy whatever you need

    8. Cocozzzzzzz says

      August 11, 2010 at 9:58

      This same thing happened to me and my girlfriend we are both having our first child.

      I started buying stuff on sale weekly after my first tri. I am now 33 weeks, and I havent heard anything about a baby shower yet, but I am happy because I dont feel panicked or rushed. Now everyones complaining "what am I going to buy you?" I laugh, and say whatever you want. Have fun, like what fun is it buying a diaper genie? I bought it, so have fun, buy some cute clothes or whatever.

      My girlfriend did the exact opposite. She has absolutly nothing, and waiting for the baby shower. Now shes panicked, and wondering what is being bought, and what kind of shopping will she need to do after the shower, she is 34 weeks. I couldnt imagine, because I feel stressed about not having a humidifier. Ha, she has a crib and mattress thats it. I drove 5hrs to go shopping with her this week, and the poor girl is panicked. Its not cheap.

      Sooooo ya that nesting comes in, and its nice to feel that if the baby is born early I will be ready. Some people can wait to see what they get, then shop when all fat, but thats no good on the nerves. Maybe set up another bank account, or get a gift card and plug money into it, and if you dont get what you want you can go buy the stuff without worryinbg about money.

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