iv been trying for 5 years and i have been diagnosed with PCOS and have a fibroid in my uterus so we are still trying to get pregnant but i get so depressed every month when my period comes! my question is would it be wrong to start buying baby things like clothes, bottles, dummies, blankets, ect so then I have some things i need when I do get pregnant and it kinda keeps my dreams alive and it gives me something to do while im waiting! Im not talking about buying the big things! has anyone else done this??
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Tina says
That depends on you – while struggling to conceive and going through fertility treatments, my friend and I used to do this. Not a lot, just a little something here and there – something to cheer me up when I had a negative pregnancy test. For me, it kept me moving to the next cycle . . . my friend on the other hand ended up in a severe depression and ultimately had to pack up all the baby stuff so that she could focus on life beyond ttc. In the end, we both now have our families – my IVF twins are 10 months old and her adopted daughter is 9 months old.
If you decide to do this, don’t go overboard. I would also say don’t go looking for stuff. It is easy to make all of your life about ttc and lose sight of other important things like friends, family, work, relationships etc . . . It is also so much more fun to leave stuff for your registry for other people to buy and for yourself to buy when you actually are pregnant.
Good luck and loads of baby dust to you!
Madelynn's Mommy says
I personally wouldn’t just because each month that you arent pregnant they are a constant reminder. Then when you do get pregnant there is always a chance of miscarriage. I didnt buy anything for my daughter until I was 17 weeks and even then it wasnt much. If it will make you feel good though then go for it. Good luck and I hope you get your BFP very soon.
BeanQueen says
It is not wrong-wishful thinking. But why set yourself up for disappointment?
Christy B says
Is it wrong? No. I would just think that you are torturing yourself. Personally, I love baby things and look at them even though I have no plans of having more children so I can understand the want to do so. Always be good to yourself though, sounds as though you could use some counseling.
gems<3 says
well as much as it sucks, you might not get pregnant so the things would go to waste. also you dont know what the sex of the baby is so you could buy girl stuff and could have a boy.
Libre says
Well, let’s say you might be wasting your money on clothes if you buy Newborn summer clothes and your baby arrives in the middle of winter! Maybe just buy a "special teddy", hug it until you get your baby and it will have your smell about it. Your baby will love it.
michael's mommy :o] says
well before i had my son, my boyfriend wasn’t ready to have kids and it hurt seeing all the baby things…and seeing other moms buying things for their babys…and i know how you feel i wanted to buy some cute baby things…i would spend hours in the baby department just looking around. ..and i dont think there is anything wrong with buying some diapers and a few other things. dont go crazy but if you really want to have a baby it might just happen.
dmg says
Why don’t you open a savings account or online money market account and nickname it baby? Throw some money into it from time to time and watch the amount that you have saved grow. Then, when you do conceive, you’ll have a nice little nest egg and you can buy whatever you want.
Two Rays of Sunshine says
Five years is a long time to be trying. Do you think you could handle the disappointment when you have a house full of stuff? I really, really hope you will need it though.
Crickets_Mom says
It isn’t "wrong" to buy baby things but you are going about it in an emotionally unhealthy way. Believe me, when you DO get pregnant you will be sorry you already did your shopping. Things will be more up to date and cuter then than they are now because baby items are constantly changing. When you get pregnant you won’t be able to look at anything but baby items when you go shopping and family members will have to get in on it. The final decision is up to you but you need to ask yourself, "will having these baby items cause me more depression if I don’t get pregnant for a while longer?"
My daughter went through infertility and cried rivers of tears. One night she was lying with her head on my lap crying because her sister had just had a baby girl and she wanted one so bad she ached. She and her husband had already been trying for 6 years and nothing was working. I said to her, "Let’s see if God is as big and powerful as we believe Him to be. I want you to take a few minutes and think about this and then we’re going to pray. When God created the world, he was detail oriented and He has not changed; you need to get a detailed description of your baby in your mind. I’m giving you a few minutes to decide if you want a boy or girl; then eye and hair color, skin tone, intelligence level, and what you want this baby to be when it grows up and it has to include service to Him. After that, we’re going to pray and let God take over from there." She was extremely quiet for about ten minutes and then she said, "I’m ready," and I said, "ready to pray or ready to be a mother? We’re about to present a detailed description to God and He gives specific answers to SPECIFIC prayers." I then instructed her that I would pray first and then she would pick up where I left off and ask Him for her baby; that she had to describe that baby as if she is already holding it in her arms, looking at it." We prayed and waited, and waited, and waited….nothing. Then came the bomb, her husband wanted a divorce, another woman! Now my daughter has no husband and she knew why God had withheld the baby because it would have had no full time father. God was holding the order we placed for our baby in Heaven and we knew that He was keeping in safe. Three years later she remarried, and SIX years later we had that baby, a girl, blonde hair, blue eyes, tan skin, and very smart. We waited 15 years for our baby. She is now 13 years old and the joy of my life, a great sense of humor and a well grounded genius, in the Academy of Math and Sciences studying in the International Education Program, and working toward becoming a Marine Biologist. She is the exact description that my daughter gave that night we prayed and is so very beautiful.
Pray about your baby, trust God and He will bring it to pass. We waited 15 years and sometimes sighed as asked, "God did you forget about our baby?" He always had us in mind…….. PRAYERS DON’T HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE.
Don’t ever give up, you will be a wonderful mother.
megalus03 says
I had a friend who had adopted 2 little kids because she and her husband were told they couldn’t get pregnant.
Well after about 6 years she got pregnant. She was so excited, she had baby things but went out and bought a ton of maternity clothes!
She ended up losing the pregnancy and she was devastated with a TON of maternity clothes she’ll never wear.
I personally wouldn’t buy anything if you aren’t pregnant! Even you are pregnant in the early stages i still wouldn’t! You never know!
We tried for a while to get pregnant, and just figured it wasn’t our time to get pregnant, i applied to go back to university to further my education etc etc, and then just as i mailed off the papers i had a funny feeling to take a HPT. And i was pregnant!
SO my advice it, don’t stress and don’t try too hard! My doctor even told me to relax, that it most likely happens when you don’t expect it!
Good Luck!